Enjoy this blog because what you read is of legendary status.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

That 70's Reunion

Topher Grace posted this image on Twitter of him, Ashton Kutcher, Danny Masterson, Wilmer Valderamma, Mila Kunis, and Laura Prepon singing the theme song from their old show, That 70's Show. It's a nice little reunion. Glad to see they are all friends.

If Parks and Recreation Was a Nintendo Video Game

BuzzFeed included multiple predictions of what Parks and Recreation would look like if it was a Nintendo video game. My favorite scene was Leslie Knope collecting waffles while dodging Ron Swanson's turkey legs. You can see all of them at BuzzFeed, but you can also think about how amazing this game would be if it were real.

Obamacare or Shut Up



In a sneak peek for the third season of Billy on the Street (coming 2014) Billy Eichner played Obamacare or Shut Up with Olivia Wilde (two of the funniest people alive) and she won! What a rousing game.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Three, New, Awesome Trailers!

If there were Oscars for the best movie trailers, the 2014 award would definitely go to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Granted, it will probably win some Oscars anyway, but the trailers are phenomenal. I've posted the first teaser trailer before, but it's worth another share.



Now, here are the three, full-length, theatrical trailers. Very quality as well!







This move will be an amazing spectacle.

The Iron Man Experience

Ah, yes. The Marvel integration into Disney Parks has finally begun. Better be careful, Universal. Marvel Superhero Island is on thin ice. At the Hong Kong Disneyland, the first Marvel themed anything in Disney Parks will debut come 2016. It will be a thrill ride through the world of Tony Stark, the beloved Iron Man. I'd ride it if I lived in Hong Kong!

When the Balls Drop

Brad Garrett has signed a deal with 20th Century FOX to produce and star in a comedy about his own life, in which he would play himself. Not much else has been released about this show, but I don't know if it would be able to succeed. After all, 'Til Death and How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life) did not really last quite long, did they? Maybe he just needs Ray Romano. We'll see.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Quality Commercials Are Back!

From late April to early August there was a very heavy lull in good commercials. Luckily, they have returned! Just in time for the year end countdowns! Here's a collection of some of the best of recency:









This Week's Entertainment by David


Happy Thanksgiving (2013)!

Enjoy the Macy's Parade! Enjoy the Detroit Lions! Enjoy the food! Enjoy whatever it is makes you happiest on Thanksgiving, a more American holiday than the Fourth of July, probably! Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

75 Best Songs: 70



Popularized by commercials for the NBA, Drew Holcomb's Live Forever is quite the quality tune. The song is about his nieces and nephews and that becomes clear upon listen. It certainly is a song that is deep on the surface.

Alex Trebek is the Worst

Jeopardy host, Alex Trebek, thinks he's the smartest person in the world and he's so condescending to those who get answers wrong. Newsflash: (Daily Double) you're reading the answer off of a card. Of course you know the answer. Ass.

Now he's a misogynist, too. Just check this clip:

2013 National Toy Hall of Fame

The National Toy Hall of Fame has named their inductees for the Class of 2013. The game of chess and the rubber ducky. Not bad choices, I suppose. I mean, there might be some I'd choose ahead of them, but I would definitely want these two enshrined. I say they're deserving. Now, we must play a game of chess with one side of the board featuring regular pieces and the other multiple rubber ducks.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

75 Best Songs: 71



K'NAAN's song Wavin' Flag was originally a Somalian cult hit, but when Coca Cola heard it, they had to have it. It was immediately used in their ad campaigns. The song originally served a purpose to advocate for freedom. It's pretty good and worth a listen.

Amazon Gets in on the Comedy Game

Amazon (the multiple types of shipping website) will join the comedy universe. Recorded comedy began on CBS with I Love Lucy and it eventually spread to NBC, ABC, and FOX as well. Then, cable started to dabble. Netflix made a couple of their own comedic stream-able shows. Now, Amazon adds the next chapter. Five comedies will be created titled, Alpha House, Betas, Mozart in the Jungle, The Outlaws, and Transparent. The best part of all this news? Mozart in the Jungle will star the one, the only, Hollywood superstar, singer/actor, triple threat, wunderkind, Jason Schwartzman! Color me intrigued.

The Broken Silence of Wally the Green Monster



For sixteen years, Wally the Green Monster, the mascot of the Boston Red Sox, has never spoken. However, in an interview with Jenny Dell, she aimed to change that. Perhaps she did, perhaps she didn't. You'll have to watch the video to discover if the bearded Wally has finally spoken.

Monday, November 25, 2013

75 Best Songs: 72

Another Disney song (I love these songs, but I am trying to include them early so the main focus can be on "true" songs. Ya dig?) comes in on the list. Carly Simon's classic for Winnie the Pooh, the simplistic With a Few Good Friends. Not much is said, and it's not convoluted, but it's sweet and true.

Austin Collie Has Come and Gone


The New England Patriots signed the biggest loss of potential in NFL history, Austin Collie. Plagued by concussions, his career was never what it could have been. With the Patriots, he caught three passes for 34 yards and no touchdowns before being cut by the team. It was short lived, but I thought it worth noting as I've never really minded him. He's actually not a bad guy, but it's too bad the way things shook out.

This Week's Sports by David


Sunday, November 24, 2013

Fourth and Final

Wilfred has been renewed by FX, thankfully. It will shift to FXX for ten episodes which will make up the fourth season. Unfortunately, it will also be the final season. One of my favorite cable comedies is, sadly, coming to a close. I declared it the true "next Lost." I will stand by that and I am eager to see the direction taken in the summer of 2014. Should be good!

The Undisputed Two-Sport Champion

ESPN the Magazine has named the University of Florida Gators as "the undisputed two-sport champion." It reviewed all colleges in the past fifteen years and measured their respective football and basketball successes. The Florida Gators were ranked first ahead of such heavyweights as Ohio State, UCLA, Texas, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Alabama. The rankings were decided by the following factors, title track, head coach, strength of schedule, academics, recruiting, player success, stadium edge, revenue, and violations. ESPN had this wonderfully delightful paragraph about it:

Since 1998, Florida is the only program to win championships in both sports – and the Gators did it twice in each (football in ’06 and ’08; hoops: ’06 and ’07). They’ve hauled in the most ESPN 150 football recruits (77) and rank behind only Ohio State and USC for player success. On the hardwood, UF ranks outside the top 25 in just one category (revenue, No. 27), and if Urban Meyer were still around to form a one-two coaching punch with Billy Donovan (No. 6), our rankings wouldn’t have been as close. (Will Muschamp ranks 51st.)

The full list is:
1. Florida Gators
2. Ohio State Buckeyes
3. Texas Longhorns
4. Oklahoma Sooners
5. Michigan Wolverines
6. Michigan State Spartans
7. Alabama Crimson Tide
8. UCLA Bruins
9. Wisconsin Badgers
10. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

The Ambition of Mark Burnett

The producer of The Voice, Mark Burnett, has raised his ambition for his latest reality competition series for NBC. The show will be called Space Race and it will feature "regular" people competing for a trip on an actual spacecraft. At first, I thought the competition would be in space, but this is still pretty audacious. This idea was first pitched in 2000, and it will finally be developed, with no timetable set yet.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Thank You Notes Go Awry

The Late Night YouTube channel is my favorite YouTube channel. Not only do they post the greatness that occurs on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, but they also upload videos of rehearsals and other different things from behind the scenes. This latest one is a "crazy" rehearsal for Thank You Notes. Huffington Post says it "goes gloriously off the rails." A very accurate way to describe it.

NBC Wins the 2013 Premiere Week!

NBC is back, baby! That's right, with DVR, online streaming, and On Demand finally being taken into account (sorry, Nielsen! We can't watch two things at once), NBC has been named the champion of arguably the most important television week, Premiere Week. Sunday Night Football, The Blacklist, and The Voice helped NBC accomplish this incredibly feat. Parks and Recreation was NBC's highest rated DVR'd program. Love it.

Death Comes to The Simpsons

The Simpsons is planning to kill off a character. The trend is becoming quite popular to kill characters. (Family Guy, Person of Interest). Some speculated that after Marcia Wallace died, Edna Krabapple would be the one to die, but creators said she would simply be retired. They plan to move forward with their original plan. My bet is on Professor Frink, but there's too many characters to try to make an accurate guess. Who do you think it will be?

Friday, November 22, 2013

75 Best Songs: 73

Sing it with me...when the river, touches the valley...



Jim Henson was really masterful behind the art the Muppets truly possessed. When he created Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas, this song quickly became one of the most popular. This version is with John Denver and the song was also sung at Jim Henson's funeral by Jerry Nelson and Louise Gold.

Reunited in the Air

On September 30, 2013, thirty years after the release of Airplane!, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the rest of the cockpit crew from the famed scene reunited to "fly" the plane again. Oh, those three, together again.

New Poll and Header!

The latest poll directly relates to Thanksgiving, of course. You must choose between turkey, pie, other food, football, family, parades, gratitude, and other traditions to decide the best part of Thanksgiving. I allow for multiple selections.



This header commemorates the new list of the 75 Best Songs. Included are some pretty notable album covers featuring songs on the list. Can you name all included?

Thursday, November 21, 2013

75 Best Songs: 74

This little ditty comes to you from 1958. It's the Delta Rhythm Boys' Alouette.



Casey Kasem style.

Sesame Street - The Song



In the newest edition of Classroom Instruments, Jimmy Fallon sings the theme song to Sesame Street with the Muppety cast of the show and The Roots. These are always phenomenally amazing. I love them. This one is no exception. Also, Tyrique's Sesame rap? Impressive.

This Week's Entertainment by David


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

75 Best Songs: 75

The goal was to have the 60 best television moments, then the 60 best songs then movie moments. It would equal 180, the amount of school days. However, I will change the rules as I see fit. And as I see fit now, I will create a list of the 75 best songs ever. That will leave 45 moments for the best of movies. I think that's acceptable. Plus, I couldn't get rid of any of these songs. I could barely get it to 139 to 75. Instead, a longer list will equal more fun! I've also started to actually enjoy school (gasp! I'm sorry nine year old self.) a little bit, so the countdown has become more recreational than countdown. Still fun and amazing!

Anyway, we begin this list with a Coldplay classic. The powerfully instrumental and somewhat inspirational, Life in Technicolor II.

Live-Action Cruella de Vil

Disney is preparing a live-action version of the sinister tale regarding Cruella de Vil. After the immense anticipation for Maleficent with Angelina Jolie, Disney decided to capitalize this newfound market for live-action villains. The only details released so far is the naming of the producer and writer, Andrew Gunn and Aline Brosh McKenna, respectively. Could be good! Who do you think would make a good Cruella?

Top-Selling MLB Jerseys

2013's list of the best-selling jerseys in the MLB was released and Mariano Rivera claimed the top spot. More notably, however, was the placement of Dustin Pedroia at #11 and David Ortiz at #18. Sox swag!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 1



Everything about this scene is perfect and that is why I have named it the greatest moment in the history of television. There is not a single flaw. From the final moments with the Janitor and the discovery of his name (or is it?) to the showcase of Dr. Cox's true emotion, J.D.'s final interactions with reality are perfect. Even his last "good night" is touching. While the most poignant scene could be considered his stroll down the hallway of the past, it is actually his anticipation of the future. It's everything he's ever wanted and it's his. J.D. controls his future, but the one he wants is right in front of him. Also, matching Christmas sweaters.

Perfection.

That was a pretty quality list of the best television moments, if I may say so myself. I know that I enjoyed it and I hope you did too. I know the list is probably completely wrong in the eyes of, well, everyone. But I loved it. And I loved every moment on it.

Perfection.

List recap!

Honorable Mentions (Forgotten): Say My Name (Breaking Bad), Felina (Breaking Bad), Can I Fry That? (Community), East/West Bowl (Key & Peele), Death Takes a Holiday (M*A*S*H)

60. The True Meaning of Slapsgiving (How I Met Your Mother)
59. Words of Wisdom (New Girl)
58. This Parachute is a Knapsack! (Friends)
57. Final Scene (Lost)
56. Stella! (Seinfeld)
55. Epic Chicken Fight (Family Guy)
54. The Intro (The Simpsons)
53. Michael Scott and Jim Halpert's Friendship (The Office)
52. Jimmy Fallon as Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)
51. The Confession (The Office)
50. Jerry Seinfeld Impersonation (30 Rock)
49. George Is Dead, Call Me Back (Seinfeld)
48. Africa by Toto (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)
47. Harpo Marx (I Love Lucy)
46. No Place Like the Office (The Office)
45. Baby Boomer Santa (Community)
44. Casey's Hug (Chuck)
43. What's Up Dog? (Scrubs)
42. Harmonize (How I Met Your Mother)
41. Introduction to Finality (Community)
40. Andy Punches the Wall (The Office)
39. The End of A.A.R.M. (The Office)
38. Betty Please (Laverne and Shirley)
37. Kramer's Jeans (Seinfeld)
36. 90% Gravity (Arrested Development)
35. Michael Scott Returns (The Office)
34. Star Wars Fillibuster (Parks and Recreation)
33. The Blacksmith (Community)
32. Jell-O Stapler (The Office)
31. Final Scene (Friends)
30. Baby on the Bus (Friends)
29. The Conveyor Belt (I Love Lucy)
28. Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica (The Office)
27. The Pilot Speech (Community)
26. Phoebe Finds Out (Friends)
25. Herpes (Wilfred)
24. Gareth's Fantasy (The Office U.K.)
23. Let's Go to the Mall (How I Met Your Mother)
22. Jukebox (Happy Days)
21. Papa Monkey (Psych)
20. Richard Simmons (Whose Line Is it Anyway?)
19. Vitameatavegamin (I Love Lucy)
18. Pack of Wild Lesbians (Billy on the Street)
17. The Soup Nazi (Seinfeld)
16. The Captain (New Girl)
15. Slow Jam the News (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)
14. Kermit the Frog (Family Guy)
13. What Goes on at Night (The Golden Girls)
12. 1-900-OK-FACE (30 Rock)
11. I Will Remember You (The Office)
10. Ron Swanson Dancing (Parks and Recreation)
9. The Jolliest Fat Man (Laverne and Shirley)
8. Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton Address the Night (Saturday Night Live)
7. The Darkest Timeline (Community)
6. Paris at Last (I Love Lucy)
5. Grover the Dancer (Sesame Street)
4. Jeffster's Take on Me (Chuck)
3. The Quiz (Friends)
2. Jim Asks Pam (The Office)
1. Final Moments (Scrubs)

Not a bad list.

Patriots v. Falcons Superlatives



Late Night with Jimmy Fallon's newest weekly segment is Late Night Superlatives. They look at players from the upcoming Sunday Night Football game and give them superlatives like "Class Clown," or "Most Likely to Succeed" instead of "MVP" or "Rookie of the Year." It's pretty humorous.

My favorite is:
Most Likely to Include Pleated Khakis on His Christmas List

This might be my new favorite segment.

The Renewal of Bob's Burgers

For the past couple of years, Bob's Burgers' future has been up in the air. It is always renewed at the last second, while The Simpsons, Family Guy, and other FOX hits are renewed for three years or more instantly. Finally, before the fourth season premiere of Bob's Burgers, FOX has renewed it for a fifth season. It's finally getting recognized!

Monday, November 18, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 2

The greatest moment in the history of The Office is the second greatest moment in television history. Three seasons of tension build up to the most joyful, you-can't-watch-this-scene-without-smiling moment ever.



So wonderful.

Baseball's Buttfumble

Ah, the Buttfumble. The Not Top Ten play from Mark Sanchez that will forever live in infamy. Baseball now has its own edition of the Buttfumble after Astros player Jonathan Villar slid into Brandon Phillips. The rest is history. Awkward history.


This Week's Sports by David


Sunday, November 17, 2013

Jon Hamm and Amy Poehler's Loser Letter

Amy Poehler and Jon Hamm decided to poke fun at themselves by creating an invitation for celebs who have never won an Emmy, constantly snubbed. Poehler and Hamm were natural hosts. Many other losers like Jimmy Fallon, Elizabeth Moss, January Jones, Fred Armisen, and David Spade attended the party. Tina Fey and Ty Burrell also attended, despite their wins. They made charitable donations in order to be there. In total, $20,000 was raised for the Worldwide Orphans fund.

Maple Syrup Heist

Seth Gordon, director of Identity Thief, has landed another comedy with Sony. This time, he and Chris Sheridan, a Family Guy writer, will work to create a true story about a Canadian maple syrup heist. Jason Segel has been slated to star. Color me intrigued!

Buried Alive Trailer

It's not Hoarders, it's Aziz Ansari's Netflix comedy special that debuted on November 1. The trailer bodes well for me to view it. I will add it to the watch list I have for Netflix binge watching. It's...pretty hefty.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Best Sports Vines of All Time



SportsNation has complied the greatest sports Vines ever made. I must say they are pretty impressive, especially that flopping one. So cool.

B.J. Novak Breaks His No-Selfies Rule

B.J. Novak talked to MTV about his experience working on Saving Mr. Banks. He said he had to break his No-Selfie rule because the wardrobe was so cool. He also talked about working with Richard Sherman and Jason Schwartzman. Not a bad interview. Just click on the word interview!

The 2013 NaNoWriMo Beast is Slain

A mere sixteen days into November, I crossed the 50,000 word threshold on my novel. I absolutely crushed it this year due to the stimulation of an anthology. Constantly changing, enjoyable stories really helped me out this year. I have provided my stats here. However, I will post an excerpt from the anthology, and the summary here. This is the first one I have enjoyed partaking in, and the first one I am proud of.

Paradigms as a Second Language
A collection of stories that piqued my interest. Haven't you ever watched Home Alone and wondered what things were like from Fuller's point of view? Maybe he never meant to wet the bed, although the creepy smile he shot a pre-cocaine addicted Macaulay Culkin would suggest otherwise. What about Christmas at the Sudeikis home? This anthology tackles the big subjects and thought-provoking situations, such as a woman obsessing over trying to craft the perfect Facebook status. What would happen if Joe Biden and Paul Ryan booked a weekend together to get away from their constantly feuding bosses? Would the world be in disarray if the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future used their powers for evil? How will Herman Melville fare when he tries to establish a legacy for Moby Dick beyond the first sentence of the novel? The second you read this anthology, you'll be wondering these same questions, and plenty more!

What if Russell Crowe Was Substitute Teacher for a Day?
Do celebrities get any better than Russell Crowe? I mean, big time, dramatic Hollywood actors. One of my favorite actors of all-time is B.J. Novak. I have such veneration for him. I would go as far as to say he is one of, if not the, smartest actor in Hollywood today. He went to Harvard University. Not the University of Phoenix. Harvard. He’s the best. However, Russell Crowe is in the pantheon of modern dramatic actors. I’m talking those who have won the Oscar award for Best Actor in a Leading Role. I’d say, in modern days, Crowe is joined only by Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, and (here she is again) Sandra Bullock. Can you imagine if Russell Crowe served as a substitute for a history class, that would be the best day of my life. The beginning of this story is inspired by a tale once told to me by a fellow classmate, Hagan. Also, each name that relates to my personal life has been changed slightly to protect his, or her, identity. It’s still incredibly similar to his actual name, though.


The A block U.S. History I Honors class strolled through the door, laughing amongst themselves. One student remembered their teacher telling the kids he would not be in the next day. The pupils were, of course, intrigued as to who the substitute would be. There was the substitute who didn’t care, the one who was incredibly nice, the one who sounded like Squidward, and the one who followed every instruction and every guideline to a tee.

They forgot about the lazy-eyed god among men. The students took their seats, but Mr. Crowe kept his back to the classroom. No one know who it was. He simply wrote, ‘MR. C’ at the top of the chalkboard. The pupils became murmurous.

“Who’s Mr. C?” One student asked another.

“I don’t know, I’ve never heard of him before,” came the response. Various whisperings were barely audible throughout the rest of the classroom. Suddenly, the chalk writing stopped and the piece was placed on the tray below the board. A becoming silence befell the room. The students anxiously waited for this man of mystery to reveal himself. He clapped his hands together, let his arms fall to his sides and he spun around with a confidence that only Russell Crowe could possess. That is because he is Russell Crowe. He smiled out of the corner of his mouth, looked from wondrous eye to wondrous eye.

He spoke. “Hey kids. I’m Russell Crowe.”

The class continued to remain silent for a brief period longer until one pupil in the back row slowly started to clap. Soon, the rest of the class joined in and before Mr. C knew it, the entire room was filled with applause, cheers, hoots, and hollers.

“Now, kids, settle down.” Russell Crowe tried to instruct. He was eager to edify the young minds of tomorrow. He wanted to influence the future, but he couldn’t help but smile and chuckle aloud to the reaction of his denouement.

Soon, chants of “CROWE! CROWE! CROWE! CROWE!” broke out throughout the classroom. He laughed and shook the hand of every student in the room.

“Now, class, we must remain calm.” Russell Crowe said wearing a pair of pleated khakis, a tucked-in, button-down, plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his delicately placed imbrication of arm hair, and loafers from Zappos.com. “What have you been learning about?”

One high schooler spoke up. “The naval battles between the French and the English during the Napoleonic Wars.”

Russell Crowe smiled and looked down before folding his hands and lifting his head in pride, awaiting the inevitable cheers that would break out when he spoke again. “I’ve got just the thing.”

With that, he popped Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World into the classroom DVD player. The musical interlude could barely be heard over the resounding cheers that only Russell Crowe could evoke in a group of students.


Friday, November 15, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 3



The funniest collection of scenes in the history of Friends. The game in the apartment. Ross, Monica, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey all work together so well to not only provide Friends' greatest scene, but also the greatest episode.

Scene highlights:

Ross: "Who is the weekly TV Guide addressed to?"
Rachel: "Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing!"
Monica: "No!"
Ross: "I'm sorry, it's Chanandler Bong."
Monica: "I knew that! Use your head."
Chandler: "Actually, it's MISS Chanandler Bong."

Ross: "What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?"
Joey: "Big fat goalie."

Ross: "What does Rachel say is her favorite movie?"
Chandler: "Dangerous Liaisons!"
Ross: "Correct. What is her actual favorite movie?"
Joey: "Weekend at Bernie's!"

Return to Camp Winnipesaukee



Ah, the age of viral video sequels, which are actually quality! The second East West Bowl obviously wasn't as funny as the first, but it was still hilarious. The second Summer Camp video from Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake gives the original a run for its money. Honestly, this is complete and utter hilarity. I will constantly press replay.

Get Hard

Etan Cohen, the screenwriter of Tropic Thunder and Men in Black 3, while make his debut as a director with the new film, Get Hard. It will star Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart and be about an investment banker who is wrongly sent to prison. He then asks his car washer to help him prepare for his stint. Sounds interesting!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 4



This scene from the Chuck series finale will forever be legendary. Jeffster's final performance is not only their best, but the most amazing, dramatic, nerve-wracking, and goosebump-giving. Take. On. Me.

Emmy Icons

I'll always have a beef with the Emmys due to its terrible snubbing. (The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family over Parks and Recreation and New Girl...again? Screw you and your lack of quality-sense.) However, the Hollywood Reporter has taken two of the most deserving Emmy-winning powerhouses (not Jon Cryer thankfully) and plastered them on the cover for their Emmy Icons issue. Tina Fey and Jerry Seinfeld, two of the funniest people in history. Also profiled in the issue? Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Hank Azaria, and more.

This Week's Entertainment by David


Wednesday, November 13, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 5

Sesame Street was actually pretty clever in its skits. This scene proves the genius of Frank Oz. Grover and the customer skits were always hilarious, but this is the belle of the ball.



Where there is life, there is hope.

Cantaloupe Skills




This lady just walks over to the fruit shelf, picks up a melon, and performs some of the best fruit handling skills ever. So great.

Jerry Seinfeld Calls the Mets Game

On September 18, Jerry Seinfeld was in the booth to call the New York Mets v. San Francisco Giants game. Obviously, it was humorous. Luckily, a highlight video of the best was put together.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 6



It's a big statement, but this is, at least in my opinion, the funniest moment in I Love Lucy history. The translation. The scene speaks for itself.

Ken Jennings Should Take Over Jeopardy

With Alex Trebek planning to step down in 2016, at the latest, I thought Ken Jennings would be an excellent choice to take over as the host. Don't you agree? It just seems like a perfect fit.

I also want to use this post to determine who could star on a modern Match Game. I had a lot of great ideas, but I have since forgotten them. How about you?

Favorite Player From the 2013 Red Sox

David Ortiz decisively won the poll for Favorite Red Sox player in 2013. He received 9 of 12 votes for 75%. Dustin Pedroia finished second with five votes and 41%. Shane Victorino had four votes and 33%. As did Felix Doubront (for some reason.) Everyone else besides Napoli, Buchholz, Ellsbury, Peavy, Tazawa, Middlebrooks, Salty, and Dempster (receiving 2 votes) received 3 votes. Nice voting! No one got zero!

We can probably squeeze one more poll in before December. Any ideas?

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veterans Day

I just want to take a moment to thank the noble veterans, past and present, for their incredible service.

Two Great Guest Stars

Hot in Cleveland has had some pretty great guest stars in the past, but the list just got longer and better. The roles that Max Greenfield and Angela Kinsey will be playing, but it doesn't matter because Angela Kinsey and Max Greenfield will be on Hot in Cleveland. That's amazing.


This Week's Sports by David


Sunday, November 10, 2013

East-West Collegiate Bowl 2

The second annual, East-West Bowl took place this past October. It's hard to live up to the likes of Hingle McCringleberry, J'Dinkalage Morgoone, T'variusness King, X-Mus Jaxon Flaxon Waxon, and Javaris Jamar Javarisson Lamar, but this group tried. Here we go:



It's impossible to be as funny as the original, but it's still pretty damn funny. My favorite is Byrone Blashington.

Bye Bye Bye, Sandman

Mariano Rivera's respectable career has come to an end. He was so dynamic and influential towards baseball, that even Red Sox fans paid respect to the storied Yankee. Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller, and Dave Roberts took the time to thank Mariano...for blowing ALCS 2004 Game 4.



Poignancy

Has it ever been better depicted than in this commercial? It certainly is a great one. From TrueMove, this three-minute commercial certainly is truly moving and Gawker.com said it's better than some sappy Hollywood movies. Take a look:



Thank you, Thailand.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Tim Tebow and Gene Simmons

Gene Simmons bought his own Arena League football team and dubbed it, The Los Angeles KISS. His first move? He offered Tim Tebow a position as the team's starting quarterback. It's a peculiar story, but needless to say, Tebow declined the offer.

The First Christmas Commercial

Mark it! September 12, 6:07 P.M. That is the date of the 2013's first Christmas advertisement from K-Mart. I do not mind at all. I love the season. Thank you, K-Mart. Keep doing you.

Red Sox Montage



I have created this montage, A Gift of a Season: Boston Strong. Trust me, it's good. You know I'm truthing because I rarely compliment my own work and it gave me goosebumps, even though I made it!

Friday, November 8, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 7

There's no video of the Darkest Timeline, so I settled for this. If you only watch one timeline, watch the one in the middle on the far right. Community's funniest scene ever.

The Return of the Mighty Ducks

In honor of the Anaheim Ducks' twentieth season, they wore throwback uniforms for the season opener. They threw it all the way back to the old, Disney Mighty Ducks uniform. So cool!

2013 GIBBY Awards

One of my favorite award shows to vote on, the GIBBYs, have revealed their 2013 nominees. I decided to vote, and so can you, here!

MLB MVP: Andrew McCutchen, Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Paul Goldschmidt, Miguel Cabrera, Chris Davis, Matt Carpenter.

Hitter: David Ortiz, Joey Votto, Mike Trout, Andrew McCutchen, Adam Jones, Paul Goldschmit, Edwin Encarnacion, Miguel Cabrera, Michael Cuddyer, Chris Davis, Matt Carpenter, Robinson Cano, Adrian Beltre.

Starting Pitcher: Jordan Zimmermann, Adam Wainwright, Max Scherzer, Anibal Sanchez, Cliff Lee, Clayton Kershaw, Matt Harvey, Hisashi Iwakuma, Jose Fernandez, Yu Darvish, Bartolo Colon, Madison Bumgarner

Rookie: Evan Gattis, Shelby Miller, Jose Fernandez, Yasiel Puig, Chris Archer, Gerrit Cole, Jose Iglesias, Wil Myers, Julio Teheran, Hyun-Jin Ryu.

Closer: Koji Uehara, Aroldis Chapman, Greg Holland, Kenley Jansen, Craig Kimbrel, Joe Nathan, Glen Perkins, Mariano Rivera.

Setup Man: Craig Breslow, Luis Avilan, Rex Brothers, Tyler Clippard, Mark Melancon, Darren O'Day, David Robertson, Paco Rodriguez, Trevor Rosenthal, Tanner Scheppers, Drew Smyly.

Defensive Player: Dustin Pedroia, Nolan Arenado, Darwin Barner, Carlos Gomez, Jose Iglesias, Evan Longoria, Manny Machado, Juan Lagares, Gerardo Parra, Yadier Molina, Shane Victorino, Brandon Phillips, Andrelton Simmons, Troy Tulowitzki.

Breakout Hitter: Daniel Nava, Josh Donaldson, Matt Carpenter, Jason Kipnis, Chris Johnson, Chris Davis, Jason Castro, Domonic Brown.

Breakout Pitcher: Koji Uehara, Travis Wood, Chris Tillman, Mike Minor, Hisashi Iwakuma, Matt Harvey, Patrick Corbin, Andrew Cashner.

Comeback Player: Mariano Rivera, Francisco Liriano.

Manager: John Farrell, Dusty Baker, Terry Francona, Clint Hurdle, Fredi Gonzalez, Jim Leyland, Mike Matheny, Joe Maddon, Don Mattingly, Bob Melvin.

Executive: Ben Cherington, Billy Beane, Chris Antonetti, Ned Colletti, Andrew Friedman, Dave Dombrowski, Neal Huntington, Walt Jocketty, John Mozeliak, Frank Wren.

Postseason MVP: David Ortiz, Jacoby Ellsbury, John Lackey, Jon Lester, Koji Uehara, Shane Victorino, Michael Wacha, Justin Verlander, Max Scherzer, Trevor Rosenthal, Matt Holliday, Carlos Beltran, Carl Crawford.

Play: Middlebrooks' Sliding Snag, Over the Wall, Walking Back the Walk-Off, Donaldson's Dazzling Dive, Lawrie's Long-Jump Throw, Simmons' Double Play, Gomez's Robbery, Carpenter's Stop, Rizzo's Roll, Gregorius' Awesome Grab, Puig's Powerful Throw, Clutch Catch Saves No-Hitter, Kipnis' Incredible Move, Ackely's Catch, Hech of a Play, Lagare's Great Save, Span's Gem, Machado's Throw, Venable's Dive, A Catch to Revere, Sanchez's Snag, Gentry's Grab, Behind the Back, Smart Play, Knee Jerk, Arenado's Play, Fantastic Final Out, No Way, Jose, Hicks is Selfish, Triple Play, Beckham Beats Wind

Moment: Emotional Day at Fenway, Puig's Debut, Ibanez Ties Ted Williams, Harper's Opening Day Heroics, Designated Hit King, Helton's Final Home Game, An All-Star Evening, Ichiro 4,000.

Storyline: Boston Strong, Red Sox Rebound, How the NL West Was Won, Wild Race to October, Rookies Burst, Pirates Return to Postseason, Exit Sandman

Hitting Performance: Victorino's Seven Wonders, Middlebrooks Mash, Man of Steal, Troutstanding, Making a Mark, Barnestorming, Two Homers in the Same Frame, Segura's Six-Pack, Zimmerman's Mash Fest, Cargo's Trifecta, Slugging Silver Lining, Oh my, Omar, Relentless Rios, Soriano Slugs Supreme

Pitching Performance: Freak Show, One-Hit Wunderkind, Kershaw Rocks Rox, No Petit Effort, Alvarez Tames Tigers, Fernandez Throws Flames, Harvey's Near No-No, Cashing In, Oh No Yu Didn't, Back-to-Back Homer, Anibal's Kingdom, Great Sale, Game of Inches.

Oddity: Taking in a Game, Thunder in the Bronx, Desmond's Double Play, AJ's Unlucky Breaks, Phanatic Panic, Mid-Game Shave, Out of Play, Hidden Ball, Who's on Third, If You Mist It, Bee Careful, Segura Steals First.

Walk-Off: Nava Count Them Out, Worth the Wait, Beltre Late than Never, Loney's Pinch of Drama, Mayberry's Extra Effort, Nice, Bryce, Walk-Off Seals No-No, Pa-Gone, Giambelieve It, Yasiel of Approval, 19-Innings, The Upton Show, In a Pinch.

Topic: Prince's Midgame Snack, Kiss Cam Controversy

Playoff Moment: Fenway's First Fall Classic Clincher, The Pickoff, Gomes Go Ahead, Salt and Papi, To the Victorino Go the Spoils, Splash Down, Juan and Done, More Car-Bel, Beltran's Catch, Wild World Series Win, Vogt of Confidence.

It's even better with Boston!



Thursday, November 7, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 8



Saturday Night Live's funniest modern moment. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton, respectively? Spot on. Hilarious. Legendary.

The Evolution of End Zone Dancing

Jimmy Fallon has done it yet again with another viral hit. This time, Justin Timberlake joins him in the Evolution of End Zone Dancing. It's very awesome!



Then, Jimmy issued a challenge to all NFL players. If one scored a touchdown and performed one of the dances, he would match his fine and give it to his favorite charity.

Joseph Fauria, a Detroit Lions rookie tight end, took him up on the offer by doing the "Bye, Bye, Bye" dance. It's awesome.

This Week's Entertainment by David


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 9

The Jolliest Fat Man, Lenny and Squiggy's impromptu song to benefit patients at a mental hospital. It will forever be one of the great moments in television history.

Welcome, John Oliver, Nathan Fillion, and David Cross!

The fifth season of Community has already booked a few notable guest stars. Nathan Fillion will play a janitor, John Oliver will return as Ian Duncan for six episodes, and David Cross will play a member of a Dungeons and Dragons group. It's going to be such a great season!

The 100 Funniest Celebrities Today

I decided to create a new annual tradition on the blog. I will be naming the 100 funniest celebrities alive today, so, without further ado, the inaugural list!

100. David Krumholtz
99. Charlie Day
98. George Lopez
97. Justin Long
96. Alyson Hannigan
95. Russell Crowe
94. Jason Schwartzman
93. Ryan Gosling
92. Zach Galifinakis
91. Amy Sedaris
90. Lena Dunham
89. Chevy Chase
88. Craig Robinson
87. Danny Pudi
86. Rachel Dratch
85. Jason Segel
84. Ellie Kemper
83. Fred Armisen
82. Jason Sudeikis
81. Emma Stone
80. Bob Odenkirk
79. Justin Timberlake
78. Ken Jeong
77. Zach Braff
76. Henry Winkler
75. Steve Carell
74. Damon Wayans Jr.
73. Ty Burrell
72. Zachary Knighton
71. Jake Johnson
70. Jason Bateman
69. Maya Rudolph
68. Adam Sandler
67. Keegan-Michael Key
66. Will Ferrell
65. Steve Higgins
64. Aaron Paul
63. Nick Kroll
62. Seth Rogen
61. Bill Murray
60. Chris Rock
59. Rainn Wilson
58. Julia Louis-Dreyfus
57. Jane Krakowski
56. Robin Williams
55. Will Arnett
54. Jason Ritter
53. Ryan Stiles
52. Nick Kocher
51. Gillian Jacobs
50. Martin Short
49. Zachary Levi
48. Josh Peck
47. Melissa McCarthy
46. Neil Patrick Harris
45. David Spade
44. Rob Lowe
43. Tracy Morgan
42. James Franco
41. Brian McElhaney
40. Colin Mochrie
39. Michael McKean
38. Josh Gad
37. George Takei
36. Amy Poehler
35. Jonah Hill
34. Kevin James
33. Demetri Martin
32. Paula Poundstone
31. Betty White
30. Jack McBrayer
29. Conan O'Brien
28. Zooey Deschanel
27. Aziz Ansari
26. Ellen DeGeneres
25. Patton Oswalt
24. Kevin Nealon
23. Taran Killam
22. Kristen Wiig
21. Max Greenfield
20. Ben Stiller
19. Kevin Hart
18. Andy Samberg
17. Ken Jennings
16. Seth Meyers
15. Adam Scott
14. Paul Rudd
13. Jerry Seinfeld
12. Jim Gaffigan
11. Ike Barinholtz
10. David Sedaris
9. Ed Helms
8. Joel McHale
7. Stephen Colbert
6. Olivia Wilde
5. Mindy Kaling
4. B.J. Novak
3. Billy Eichner
2. Tina Fey
1. Jimmy Fallon

Agree/disagree? Anyone I forgot? Anyone I should not have included? Debate!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 10

We have now entered the top ten! It will continue to get difficult to decide which one will not make it to the next day. Tuesday, November 5 was no exception. Eventually, I decided on this:



This is the shortest clip in the Top Ten, but the essence of its hilarity is captured instantly and remarkably.

Behold, Ron Swanson dancing.

Yaz Statue

Other than Ted Williams and David Ortiz eventually, there may be no Red Sox player who deserves a statue more than Carl Yastrzemski. Arguably the second-greatest baseball player to ever don a Red Sox uniform, Yaz has had his number retired by the organization. He will be forever immortalized outside of Fenway Park with a bronze figure depicting his reaction to the thunderous standing ovation he received for his final career at-bat. Very deserving.

Megatron the Soda Machine



This is SportsCenter has been a very successful ad campaign with a great amount of humor. The latest installment in the ever-growing series is Calvin Johnson, Detroit Lions receiver nicknamed Megatron, acting as a soda machine in the ESPN offices.

Monday, November 4, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: 11

The final moment before the Top Ten television moments in history, in my opinion. With this, there leaves only one moment from The Office. Andy Bernard singing I Will Remember You really tugs at the heartstrings. I will forever love this and the Nard Dog. Beautiful moment.

This Week's Sports by David


The Fourth Jurassic Park

The creative team behind the Jurassic Park series is ready to launch the fourth film in the series. On June 12, 2015, Jurassic World will hit theaters. Hopefully it will be an improvement on the second and third films. Maybe there will be a return of...THE GOLDBLUM? Who knows? All that is known is that Stephen Spielberg will produce.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

60 Best Television Moments: Honorable Mentions

The worst feeling is when you forget an amazing moment on the list and then it's too late to go back. So, here's a post constructed to depict the Honorable Mentions. I'm sorry that I forgot you.









Also, the M*A*S*H Death Takes a Holiday scene which is unfortunately, nowhere to be found.

A Wild Gatriot Weekend

The Gators this season have not done as well as I hoped they would. Florida-Georgia was the matchup I predicted for the 2014 BCS Championship Game. That will not be taking place. With Georgia at 5-3, they're barely alive for the SEC East Crown. Florida, at 4-4, is on a three-game losing streak and will be lucky to get to the Outback Bowl. I'll still hold out hope that they will finish above .500, but the offense has just been awful. Love the defense, though! Their comeback attempt fell short and the Bulldogs won, 23-20.

Patriots played much better! They trounced the Steelers 55-31, with the Red Sox on hand. Danny Amendola, Rob Gronkowski (return of the Gronk spike!) and Aaron Dobson each set individual records on the season. As did Tom Brady, who threw for four touchdowns and 432 yards. First quarter: Amendola catches a 34-yarder. Second quarter: Gronk grabs a 19-yarder, Ridley runs one yard for the touchdown, and Gostkowski kicked a field goal. Third: A simple Gostkowski field goal. Fourth: Two five-yard runs from Ridley and LeGarrette Blount. Two touchdowns to Aaron Dobson, one for seventeen yards, one for eighty-one yards. Great game as the Patriots scored the most points of any team in the NFL this season, so far.

Sports Illustrated October Cover of the Month

There has been no Red Sox championship cover yet, but there has been a World Series cover. Unfortunately, it depicted the obstruction call, so I obstructed it. Instead, I opted for the inane cover that featured BJ and Justin Upton (who look high out of their minds) and Kate Upton. The cover claims that she is their long lost cousin. Sure, she is.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

New Header!

Sorry, old header. I know I cut your time short. To pay tribute, I'll post it again.


But there is a new header! Enjoy:


New Poll!

Who is your favorite player on the 2013 Boston Red Sox? You can pick multiple options because they're all awesome! Be sure to vote!

John Lackey
Jon Lester
Clay Buchholz
Jake Peavy
Craig Breslow
Ryan Dempster
Felix Doubront
Junichi Tazawa
Koji Uehara
David Ortiz
Mike Napoli
Jarrod Saltalamacchia
David Ross
Dustin Pedroia
Xander Bogaerts
Stephen Drew
Will Middlebrooks
Jonny Gomes
Jacoby Ellsbury
Daniel Nava
Shane Victorino

2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Team

Coming off my 20-0 championship run last season, I'm looking to make another run. The Back Bay Lob-Stars are back. If they have an asterisk, that means they were also on last year's team.

PG - Brandon Knight - Milwaukee Bucks
SG - Klay Thompson - Golden State Warriors
SF - Kevin Durant - Oklahoma City Thunder*
PF - Andre Drummond - Detroit Pistons
C - Anderson Varejao - Cleveland Cavaliers*
G - Paul George - Indiana Pacers*
F - Zach Randolph - Memphis Grizzlies*
SG/SF - Thaddeus Young - Philadelphia 76ers*
G/F - Tristan Thompson - Cleveland Cavaliers
PF/C - Blake Griffin - Los Angeles Clippers*
F/C - David Lee - Golden State Warriors
UTIL - Stephen Curry - Golden State Warriors
BENCH - Al Horford - Atlanta Hawks
BENCH - Tobias Harris - Orlando Magic
BENCH - DeAndre Jordan - Los Angeles Clippers